[taking some time to think]

every body makes mistakes....
some worse than others...
I just thought I wasn't gonna ever make any mistakes in the "worse" category
I thought I wasn't like any of "those" people who did "those" things...
I held a sense of pride in my "purity"...
So now that those mistakes happened what now?
Am I tainted? Am I unforgivable?

I ran away from my room last night trying to find some time alone to cry and think, but thankfully a friend came by and told me to come back and stay over to talk and rest... I needed that. I definitely needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay, that I needed prayer, forgiveness, and to change...

Because there is "Now no condemnation in those who are in Jesus Christ."--Romans 8:1....despite the mistakes I do and feel guilt for.... the battle is already won...and I am forgiven.

I don't know how much I can truly forgive myself, but falling short of it means I don't fully trust God in his forgiveness for me. But I need to really think and pray about what I did, and see how far from perfect I am from God, and ask God to bring me back to him...because what I did in my eyes is Far from forgivable.

And for you who helped me, not trying to call you out, so I wont say names, and I know that its weird to say this to you in person....But just want to thank you for helping me out, you know who you are...I don't know what I would do without a friend like you. Thank you for not judging me, for taking me in, and for still being my friend whenever I didn't deserve your friendship. I thank God for you every day... I really don't know where I would be right now without your support and help. I know my cry for help came at a bad time with finals and such... but you made time to help me out.

Thank you... i'll write more later....

Just thinking