[sleep in heavenly peace]

Christmas Eve Day(weird I know)....

I had a rather uneventful day during the Night Before Christmas...did some last minute shopping, deposited my check, and got myself some coffee so I could sip while sitting in holiday traffic and think....and think...and think

I thought to myself...it doesn't "feel" like Christmas....I don't know if its because of the lack of presents under the tree, or the lack of parties or family get togethers we'd be having, or if I just wasn't in the mood...

When I got home, it didnt "feel" at all like Christmas. Mom just got home from work, No food was cooking because we resorted to ordering Chinese food, and no cookies baking in the oven... and Bella pee'd on the wrong towel again, so I accidentally stepped in it, and the dishes weren't done so Mom was complaining, and etc... felt like every other day. The Christmas tree wasn't lit and the house was silent...no Christmas music...have I, and my family, become immune to the Christmas spirit?

As I got ready to go to Christmas church service alone(like every year), I thought to myself "Everyone's going to be staring at me because everyone brought their families and I came alone" and  what would I say if they ask what I'm doing next year because I graduate in may? or what would I say if they ask if I have a girlfriend? I feel like I'd be lying or saying "things are alright" when things aren't...I definitely wasn't in the mood and I really wasn't having it.

The Christmas music was....rather traditional(Bleh), and there were wrong notes flying around, and me being the musical snob I am, twitched and winced at every off-key and dissonant sound played... this just wasn't my day..

It was Pastor Bill's message that made me really think though, that I had made Christmas(once again) about how I felt and rather what the true message of Christmas was. He dedicated his message to the idea of Christ coming to bring heavenly "paz" or Peace to this world. Pastor Bill distinguished Earthly peace, which is the peace and happiness and satisfaction that the world provides for us, versus the Heavenly  "true " peace that God provides for us. God was brought down in human form to live with us and take on our sins and die as a sacrifice for those sins in order that we may experience true peace... That when we are troubled, confused, angry, scared, alone, depressed, anxious, fearful, and struggling, we can realize that the battle has been paid and that God has done the difficult work in order to provide us with peace in our hearts, knowing that "It has been done". He mentioned that in "Silent Night" it mentions "sleep in heavenly peace" which really refers to the peace God provided for us when he brought Jesus down, as we now have heavenly peace...

I had never been so at peace with life, with the world and with my self, knowing that the true spirit of Christmas was that Jesus came down on Earth to provide peace to all men. And while I have heard this so many years and in so many ways--"Dona Nobis Pacem" etc, I really understood what peace means as I too am struggling with many of these fears and anxiety and struggles... I needed to be reminded of the significance of Jesus coming down from Heaven in human form--which was to provide us peace....

I hope that you all can understand this true Peace that God has provided for us this Christmas and for the last 2009 years... and feel at peace...

Merry Christmas!